Read the following excerpt from a student essay.How can the writer best improve his or her word choice? In 410 CE, a mean group of guys called the Visigoths tore into the city of Rome. Led by a king called Alaric, the dudes burned loads of buildings, got rid of important Romans, and swiped all kinds of stuff. Luckily, many of Rome's cool buildings and monuments survived. When St. Jerome, a smart guy who was around then, heard the news about Rome, he said, "The city which had taken the whole world was itself taken." by using more appropriate academic language by using words with more positive connotations

## Step 1<br />The first step in improving word choice in an essay is to identify the words that are too informal or colloquial. In this excerpt, the words "mean group of guys", "dudes", "loads of buildings", "got rid of important Romans", "swiped all kinds of stuff", "cool buildings", and "smart guy" are too informal and colloquial.<br /><br />## Step 2<br />The next step is to replace these words with more formal and academic language. For example, "mean group of guys" can be replaced with "hostile group of warriors", "dudes" can be replaced with "warriors", "loads of buildings" can be replaced with "numerous structures", "got rid of important Romans" can be replaced with "eliminated key Romans", "swiped all kinds of stuff" can be replaced with "acquired various items", "cool buildings" can be replaced with "impressive structures", and "smart guy" can be replaced with "learn".<br /><br />## Step 3<br />The final step is to ensure that the tone of the essay is consistent and formal. The revised excerpt should read: "In 410 CE, a hostile group of warriors called the Visigoths invaded the city of Rome. Led by a king named Alaric, they destroyed numerous structures, eliminated key Romans, and acquired various items. Fortunately, many of Rome's impressive structures and monuments survived. When St. Jerome, a learned scholar of the time, heard the news about Rome, he said, 'The city which had taken the whole world was itself taken.'"